The heat is broken again and the repair man will be joining me to examine the unit for the third time in two weeks. In addition, my satellite is out, so no T.V. It is not so much the fact that the T.V. is gone that bothers me, but my conversations with Dish Network. They advised me that my satellite may be out due to cloud cover and that I need to wait until a clear day and then call them back. This is asinine. They are implying that there have been no clouds in NC in the past 18 months, since my satellite has never been disrupted before. If clouds indeed caused my T.V. to not work, then I would only be able to watch perhaps three to four times a week, which would cause me to get cable.
Yesterday I took my car in for an oil change. They gave me two new tires and aligned my car. On the way home I noticed that in order to go straight I had to turn left and if I kept the wheel straight I would run off the road. Interesting.
Last night I dug Joe's toothbrush out of the bathroom drawer and I used it. Many people confuse disgusting with intimate. I am one of them.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Week 34
This morning I woke up to white frost covering all outdoor things in a silently glamorous way. This did not persuade me to wear socks however. Lunch was Thai and all the caffeine in the world has not reduced the dull grinding pain in my sinuses. The sun looks over us from afar and it seems this time of year we are an afterthought.
Lately, I have taken note of the various comments I receive when I inform people that my husband is in Iraq and that yes, he will be spending Christmas there.
Responses vary from thanks for his service, acknowledgment of support for the troops, dogmatic affirmations of war and freedom, and prayer offerings. My favorite response came from a woman in Lowe's who simply said, "I'm sorry." My least favorite response was, "You much be use to it by now."
The surprisingly wide range of replies demonstrates the varying opinions on the war and marriage. Some focus on the former and other's the latter. Irregardless, it is interesting from my perspective. Still, after many months I am often left perplexed.
Lately, I have taken note of the various comments I receive when I inform people that my husband is in Iraq and that yes, he will be spending Christmas there.
Responses vary from thanks for his service, acknowledgment of support for the troops, dogmatic affirmations of war and freedom, and prayer offerings. My favorite response came from a woman in Lowe's who simply said, "I'm sorry." My least favorite response was, "You much be use to it by now."
The surprisingly wide range of replies demonstrates the varying opinions on the war and marriage. Some focus on the former and other's the latter. Irregardless, it is interesting from my perspective. Still, after many months I am often left perplexed.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Week 35
I suppose I haven't written in a while because things have been going fairly well the past few days and contentment doesn't exactly inspire me to write. I have been busy at work. I go home and dedicate myself to various tasks like baking and cleaning and organizing.
Joe and I have begun to plan our R & R vacation and have at long last decided on Greece as our destination. Joe's family came to visit this past weekend, bringing with them all the sounds and smells of a full house along with many fabulous gifts. The house seems especially quiet in their absence.
The heater broke down this weekend as did the internet. Crying fixed the internet, but the heat won’t budge. Luckily the fireplace heats the house fairly quickly and the past few days have been mild as I wait for the maintenance man.
The days have been gloomy and one begins to wonder where all of the clouds come from. I watch the calendar as one watches a clock and the days slowly tick by. Nine weeks is half way.
Joe and I are both feeling deployment fatigue. He gets mad, and I wish that I could go into hibernation until August. Things feel slow and still. Even the evergreens seem cold. Winter lacks life.
I feel too tired to be angry. Usually I can muster a bit of anger that we have missed two birthdays, Halloween, football, thanksgiving and now nearly Christmas in just the four months that he has been gone.
After all this is our honeymoon, our first year of marriage and it will all be a do-over. But just as no one can really give you back your first Christmas together, all of the dinners and dishes that would be spent together, every moment of everyday ordinary life can never be recovered. After months of moments and unmade memories slipping away I get tired.
Joe and I have begun to plan our R & R vacation and have at long last decided on Greece as our destination. Joe's family came to visit this past weekend, bringing with them all the sounds and smells of a full house along with many fabulous gifts. The house seems especially quiet in their absence.
The heater broke down this weekend as did the internet. Crying fixed the internet, but the heat won’t budge. Luckily the fireplace heats the house fairly quickly and the past few days have been mild as I wait for the maintenance man.
The days have been gloomy and one begins to wonder where all of the clouds come from. I watch the calendar as one watches a clock and the days slowly tick by. Nine weeks is half way.
Joe and I are both feeling deployment fatigue. He gets mad, and I wish that I could go into hibernation until August. Things feel slow and still. Even the evergreens seem cold. Winter lacks life.
I feel too tired to be angry. Usually I can muster a bit of anger that we have missed two birthdays, Halloween, football, thanksgiving and now nearly Christmas in just the four months that he has been gone.
After all this is our honeymoon, our first year of marriage and it will all be a do-over. But just as no one can really give you back your first Christmas together, all of the dinners and dishes that would be spent together, every moment of everyday ordinary life can never be recovered. After months of moments and unmade memories slipping away I get tired.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Deck the Halls
So after completing a cost-benefit analysis on which was more depressing, decorating for the holidays for yourself by yourself or completely ignoring Christmas all together, I decided to decorate. If anything else it would give me two more projects to complete: put up and take down. Not that I need anymore projects right now, but anything to help me avoid writing my final paper is a worthwhile task in my eyes.
A glass of wine and the least Christmasy music I could find on the radio accompanied me. One does not realize how much of what one does is for those she loves until she is eating cereal every night for dinner wondering what possessed her to bother decorating for Christmas. Without the people you love around there are few good reasons to do much of anything including make dinner, change the sheets, scrub the toilet etc. etc.
A glass of wine and the least Christmasy music I could find on the radio accompanied me. One does not realize how much of what one does is for those she loves until she is eating cereal every night for dinner wondering what possessed her to bother decorating for Christmas. Without the people you love around there are few good reasons to do much of anything including make dinner, change the sheets, scrub the toilet etc. etc.
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